Wow so it’s been a very long time. My last miscarriage resulted in surgical management because the egg sac was just too stubborn to go of its own accord. They determined there was a baby but it had been “ejected” at around 5 weeks gestation. We were advised not to get pregnant that month, I thought this was due to there being a higher risk of miscarriage again, turned out it was because it causes far too much confusion with dates.
Well despite our best efforts to be careful we ended up pregnant again (apparently you are more fertile after surgical management of a miscarriage and some have told me after any form of miscarriage). This baby however hung in there. I went to the doctors for bloods, they were good, I returned two days later they were ridiculously high, I returned another two days later same story. Aside from looking like a pin cushion I was elated, but the happiness was tinged with caution and, I’m not ashamed to say, fear. I was terrified and every day I woke up with that familiar cramping sensation but it lasted barely a few moments, probably psychological rather than physical. Then the morning sickness really kicked in, still no major pains or signs of loss. Before we knew it we were seven weeks and the specialist had received word of our situation and asked us to come in for a scan.
That was when the terror kicked in again, and a form of resignation. An early, trans vaginal scan had only had a good result once before for us and we have had many. I say we because the husband is always positioned rather traumatically at the end of the stretcher couch by my feet, able to see the screen before me. I didn’t want to look, I was certain another empty sac would be found. But my husbands eyes lit up and I dared to hope.
The screen was promptly turned around and there was a tiny little bean, looking like a tiny little dinosaur tail included, but heart beat present. There was our long awaited second baby, and it looked perfect. I can’t begin to say how much I cried, and went on crying for days afterwards.
We have since had our 12 week scan were we found we were more like 13 weeks, introduced C to the idea that she will be a big sister and I have begun to crochet my fingers to the bone to create something for our new baby. We have picked names for a boy or a girl and in a little under two weeks we will know what form our little treasure will take.
If things go wrong they go wrong, for now we have the hope of another child, and we are constantly reminded of how fortunate we are to have our healthy beautiful little girl who grows more hilarious and intelligent every single day. For now I can sit, cuddling my girl, crocheting for the next child already strong enough to let mummy feel it’s flutters and make her tummy balloon a little (I’m literally going to end up a whale).
As always my love to all and hopes this post finds you well.
Crazy C crochet 